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Best Man Speech Material
Choose from thousands of cracking lines, comical anecdotes, jokes, tributes, roasts and toasts at thebestmanspeech.com and build your perfect best man speech today.
Best Man Speech Explained
The best man's formal speech duties are typically light, involving perhaps the occasional short tribute or response to a toast. Then it's time for the mayhem, with a full and frank character assassination of the groom your primary goal. This can take the form of entertaining stories, deft one-liners or illuminating observations, and then, after the odd sprinkling of sentiment, you'll want to ramp things up with a killer ending to make your speech as memorable as possible.
Tips on how to write a best man speech
- Be optimistic and congratulatory towards the newlyweds, even if you know it's not going to last.
- By complimenting the bride, her mother and her bridesmaids, you'll get a guaranteed round of applause.
- Make people laugh and get to the point. Wedding speech jokes are best delivered with short, sharp lines.
- Jokes based on a common experience are a great way to unite the wedding guests.
- Don't insult the bride or her friends, unless you're happy to undergo an impromptu vasectomy under the table.
- Never refer to ex-girlfriends or boyfriends, especially if they're there.
- Use anecdotes that everyone can relate to, and which don't require a lengthy backstory to explain.
- Try to say everything in less than 9 minutes.
- Avoid gimmicks. If your speech relies on props, videos or a dance routine, it's probably about as funny as your neighbour's holiday snaps.
- Sugar the pill. If you've dedicated a significant portion of your speech to mocking someone, at least say they turned up looking nice today.
When Your Best Man is Your Twin
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Fred and George Weasley, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito… there's something endlessly fascinating about twins; especially to those of us whose womb experience was of the single-occupant variety. 'Do you feel each other's pain?' we want to know, and 'Can you tell when your twin's in ...
"I know what you'll be thinking. He's Paul's twin brother. Paul will have had his arm twisted to make him Best Man. And you'd be right. But bear in mind that while Paul had his arm twisted, I was subjected to four hours of waterboarding before I accepted."
"Following in your older brother's footsteps isn't easy. I'm never allowed to forget that Mike is a whole ten minutes ahead of me… although it has to be said, with such a head start in life, it's a wonder he hasn't achieved more."
"You know, even twins experience sibling rivalry. And some parents do little to discourage it… I think I first realised that David was Mum and Dad's favourite twin when they asked me to help deliver the invitations for his surprise 5th birthday party."
"Of course, as twins Paul and I have so much in common, but I wonder whether Linda knows about all of it… Has Paul mentioned the diarrhoea, for example? That runs in our jeans."
A best man explains one of the wonderful aspects of being twins with the groom.
Tap into the world's most comprehensive and most frequently up-dated collection of ready-made best man speech material.
Start Here With Opening Lines
- Please-all Icebreaker
- Laddish Icebreaker
- Self Deprecating Icebreaker
- Cocky Icebreaker
- Alternative Icebreaker
- Nervous Best Man
- Icebreaker For A Short Speech
- Heavy Drinker Best Man
- Large Best Man
- Skinny Best Man
- Bald Best Man
- Joint Best Men
- Single Best Man
- Married Best Man
- Groom Was Your Best Man
- Second Time As Best Man
- Best Man Follows Groom
- Best Man First Speaker
- Best Man Sole Speaker
- Conservative Icebreaker
- Sentimental Icebreaker