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Best Man Speech Material
Choose from thousands of cracking lines, comical anecdotes, jokes, tributes, roasts and toasts at thebestmanspeech.com and build your perfect best man speech today.
Best Man Speech Explained
The best man's formal speech duties are typically light, involving perhaps the occasional short tribute or response to a toast. Then it's time for the mayhem, with a full and frank character assassination of the groom your primary goal. This can take the form of entertaining stories, deft one-liners or illuminating observations, and then, after the odd sprinkling of sentiment, you'll want to ramp things up with a killer ending to make your speech as memorable as possible.
Tips on how to write a best man speech
- Be optimistic and congratulatory towards the newlyweds, even if you know it's not going to last.
- By complimenting the bride, her mother and her bridesmaids, you'll get a guaranteed round of applause.
- Make people laugh and get to the point. Wedding speech jokes are best delivered with short, sharp lines.
- Jokes based on a common experience are a great way to unite the wedding guests.
- Don't insult the bride or her friends, unless you're happy to undergo an impromptu vasectomy under the table.
- Never refer to ex-girlfriends or boyfriends, especially if they're there.
- Use anecdotes that everyone can relate to, and which don't require a lengthy backstory to explain.
- Try to say everything in less than 9 minutes.
- Avoid gimmicks. If your speech relies on props, videos or a dance routine, it's probably about as funny as your neighbour's holiday snaps.
- Sugar the pill. If you've dedicated a significant portion of your speech to mocking someone, at least say they turned up looking nice today.
Poking Fun At Wedding Day Finery
Clothes maketh the man, they say, and never was it more true than on his wedding day. Marital fashion takes the concept of Sunday Best and turns it up to 11, to ensure that the happy couple are looking their best while all eyes are on them. Of course, things don't always go to plan. Even a wedding, with all ...
"Some people might think it's weird that we're all wearing kilts when there's not a Scottish bone in (GROOM)'s body… but you didn't see what Jock McTavish did to him on his stag do."
"Of course, (GROOM)'s always been very fastidious about his looks, but this morning was off the scale! He spent three hours in the bathroom! Three hours! If you want to know what that's like, try agreeing to give a speech at a wedding. I was in there for three and a half!"
"I never imagined (GROOM) would be one of those types that give up booze, rich foods and join a gym to get in the best shape of their lives for their wedding day. And I was right."
"Let's also thank the ushers, who often play the most underrated part of a wedding. I like to think of them as a bidet; no-one really knows what they do, but they add a touch of class."
TWO SMALL WEDDING GIFTS
By leading the audience to believe he's about to make a loving gesture to the groom, this best man sets them up for a particularly epic fall.
Tap into the world's most comprehensive and most frequently up-dated collection of ready-made best man speech material.
Start Here With Opening Lines
- Please-all Icebreaker
- Laddish Icebreaker
- Self Deprecating Icebreaker
- Cocky Icebreaker
- Alternative Icebreaker
- Nervous Best Man
- Icebreaker For A Short Speech
- Heavy Drinker Best Man
- Large Best Man
- Skinny Best Man
- Bald Best Man
- Joint Best Men
- Single Best Man
- Married Best Man
- Groom Was Your Best Man
- Second Time As Best Man
- Best Man Follows Groom
- Best Man First Speaker
- Best Man Sole Speaker
- Conservative Icebreaker
- Sentimental Icebreaker