Entertaining version of bride & groom's romance

Paul has told Linda’s parents that he wants their relationship to be just as if he’s their own son. Keith and Val – he’ll need feeding, burping and changing at least three times a day.

Dave was the first man Lolly had brought home to meet her parents. This might have been because he was the first man she'd ever dated after living a life of virtue - from the look on her bridesmaids' faces I can tell that's not the case. More likely is that Dave was the first man who ever meant a damn to her - from the look on Lolly's face, I can tell that's 100% true.

The first time Jacqui introduced Colin to her parents he walked into an antique clock on the wall, sending it tumbling to the ground. Jaq's mum, quick as anything, remarked that it was better he broke that than her daughter's heart, because that would be harder to mend. Jaq's dad chimed in with 'or wind, because you can't put that back in the bottle can you.'