Sentimental closing lines

Though traditionally a wedding is a confirmation of two people’s love, this one is merely the launch pad of the relationship. Here’s a marriage that promises to be stellar, headed for the stars and beyond!

Have you heard about this new weight loss plan? It's called the Watching Vivian and Carl Diet. All you have to do is observe these two in each other's company for more than ten minutes and you'll be love sick in no time. Bear in mind they've been together for four years now and they're still like this! They're gonna end up as one of those pensioner couples who still use tongues when they're 90.

Benny is like a swan; he mates for life and occasionally gets stuck in those plastic rings off a six pack. Helena is exactly the same, and in 20, 30 or 40 years' time these two will be just as loved up as they are today. I am so confident of this prediction that I'm offering odds of 40-1 that I'm wrong. Minimum £100 bet; see me at the bar for the coupons.