To everyone for coming (comical)
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I'd like to thank everyone on behalf of the bride and groom for sharing their wedding day. Particularly both sets of parents, Alan and Carol and Ray and Sally, for making this day possible - biologically and financially. Also a special thanks to those of you who traveled a long distance to be here. Personally, I wish that you all had stayed at home, as this would be a lot easier on me. But I stand here as proof to the lengths a man will go to for a free meal.
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On behalf of the bride and bridegroom I'd like to thank everyone for coming to celebrate their special day. As you can see, there are guests from all around the world. Paul has made a lot of international friends, and presumably they are all now part of his pyramid scheme.