Setting up the roast (Take a risk)

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  1. When Paul asked me to be best man, he said one of the reasons he chose me was because I could be trusted not to say anything embarrassing. Before I betray that trust, I'd like to say a few words about Linda. Such a beautiful, intelligent and happy girl could have the choice of any man, which leaves me feeling slightly perplexed.

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  2. When Paul asked me to be best man, he said one of the reasons he chose me was because I could be trusted not to say anything about the time he soiled his pants on the roller coaster at Six Flags on his 16th birthday. Having now betrayed that trust, I may as well expose all his other embarrassing secrets. You see, Paul, I figure I'm already going to get a beating from you after this, so I may as well go down kicking and screaming - which leads me nicely on to the next story.

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