Goody two shoes

I must admit, I’ve found writing this speech quite difficult – Paul’s done nothing! Never been arrested, never taken drugs, always pays his taxes... this would have been a lot easier if Paul had a past like mine.

Now, it is traditional for the Best Man to drag up dirt on the bridegroom, to tell tales of debauchery and misguided deeds, to shock and upset the bride’s parents and make them wonder quite why they let their daughter marry this creature. The problem is Paul simply isn’t that sort of man. And besides, I am far more comfortable running people down behind their backs.