Uni/school sweethearts

How Paul actually graduated college with a viable degree is still under investigation by most of his professors. But clearly the most important thing that Paul got out of those four years, along with his ability to bluff his way through any situation, is his gorgeous wife. In fact, I think no one would disagree that Paul put considerably more effort into winning Linda than anything he ever did in college, and anything he has ever done since.

Linda and Paul, never forget those life lessons you learned in the early days of your relationship back on campus: How to drain spaghetti without a strainer. Yes, tights work. How to get bong water stains out of apartment carpets. Try vinegar. How to make a pair of underwear last between washings. Don’t wear any. Yes, these are the experiences around which you bonded. And now, you can say with certainty about one another – hey, we’re into bondage.