Humorous wedding observations

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  1. Lots of people would consider it an honour to be picked as best man, but in all honesty I don’t like to be told to wear a suit by anyone lower-ranking than a barrister.

  2. This is the second time in the past few days I've been in a suit. The other occasion wasn't quite as pleasant as this. Unfortunately, as some of you may know, I got into a little bit of trouble earlier this week. Oh, I wasn't in court or anything. I got stuck in my suit at the tailors because I'm a right fat bastard.

  3. I'd made a solemn promise to Tiffany to make sure that Chris got to the chapel on time. If he didn't, she'd have my guts for garters. So to make sure I knew his whereabouts at all times, I installed a little tracking device on his phone. I cacked myself this morning when it showed his location as an Industrial Park somewhere north of Carlisle. Turns out the daft sod had left his phone on the bus last night.