Best man jokes for weddings in December

For weddings December 1-25

We’ve all got two reasons to be jealous of (Groom) today. In the first place, he’s bagged himself a truly beautiful bride. In the second, there’s still ages ‘til Christmas, but he gets to find out what’s inside (Bride)’s stocking two weeks early!

For weddings December 1-25

I love December weddings. A wedding - perhaps more than any traditional seasonal celebration - reminds us what Christmas is really all about … presents.

For weddings December 1-25

With this being a Christmas wedding, (Groom) might like to take some seasonal inspiration for a happy married life to come. My advice is to be on your best behaviour all year long, (Groom), then you might get exactly what you want from (Bride). Although to avoid disappointment you should probably write a list…

For weddings December 1-25

As this is a Christmas wedding, let’s take a moment to remember why Mary and Joseph travelled the long road to Bethlehem so many years ago. Yes, just like (Bride) & (Groom)’s union today, it was for tax purposes.

For weddings December 1-25

It's a shame, given this is a winter wedding, that the minister wouldn't let (Groom) and (Bride) have the pantomime theme wedding they originally wanted. Looking at (Groom), I think ‘Puss in Boots’ would have been very appropriate.

For weddings December 1-25

There is a logical explanation why this wedding is taking place in the winter. (Groom) couldn’t wait until the summer. He was desperate to marry before Christmas. He figured two people can give as cheaply as one.

For weddings December 1

On this day back in 1835 Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of fairy tales, which were, of course, mostly based on (Groom)’s dating history...

For weddings December 14

We are all happy to be here celebrating the wedding of (Groom) and (Bride), on the same day that marks 103 years since the first successful expedition to the South Pole. (Groom) once went on an expedition to Iceland, although unfortunately it proved unsuccessful, as they were all out of Black Forest gateau.

For weddings December 17

This is the beginning of a long and happy history of being together for (Bride) and (Groom). But today also marks another instrumental moment in time, for it was on this day in 1899 that the Wright Brothers tested out their first prototype aeroplane. (Groom) must be aware of this because he and Linda are flying to the honeymoon destination on the exact same aircraft. (Bride), you’re steering.

For weddings December 19

On this day in 1843, Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol was first published. It's a tale involving an old skinflint who is influenced by a combination of spirits and ends up regretting everything he's done. Sounds a bit like your stag do, (Groom).

For weddings December 21

I think you'll all agree that December is an absolutely beautiful time for a wedding... although it is starting to go dark very early now. In fact, we are rapidly approaching the longest night of the year. That's right – it's the night (Groom) spends on the sofa after divulging all the details from his stag night.

For weddings December 21

I'm not saying that (Groom) is a typical man and perhaps motivated by base instincts but it seems slightly suspicious that he's decided to get married on the shortest day of the year and therefore have the longest wedding night.

For weddings December 26

It's fantastic to be celebrating this marriage on Boxing Day, a day when it's traditional to eat leftover turkey, watch TV repeats and return unwanted presents, so let's hope there's no turkey, no one switches on the telly and that (Bride) can't find the receipt for (Groom).

For weddings December 26

This is certainly proving to be a very environmentally friendly wedding as I see that many of you have taken this opportunity to recycle your unwanted Christmas presents, with many of them still in their original festive wrapping paper.

For weddings December 27-31

It’s wonderful to be here to celebrate my dear friend (Groom)’s wedding. Even if, being December, he did have to pick the one time of year when you really don’t need an excuse for a piss-up!

For weddings December 27-31

Well done to (Groom) for choosing to get married between Christmas and New Year, it means that we have a great reason to stay drunk for the whole week!

For weddings December 27-31

A wedding at this time of year has its pros and cons. On the one hand, it makes the party season seem extra special. On the other, I’m missing so much great telly!

For weddings December 31

Of course, it makes sense for (Groom) and (Bride) to get married on New Year's Eve as it gives them the opportunity to see in the New Year with a bang...