Humorous wedding observations

What a dazzling array of quality wedding presents you’ve all bought today. My only advice is to take them out of your vehicles – there are some guys hanging around who think there’s a car boot on.

In lieu of gifts, Laura and Mark have instead requested donations for their honeymoon, as having lived together for four years they've acquired quite a lot of 'crap', as they put it, already. That being said, I've gone against their wishes and purchased one household item which I know for sure they do not have. An iron. Because Mark, this is your wedding day, and you look like you're wearing a shirt made from Mick Jagger's face.

Isn't it nice going through the wedding registry online and picking out presents for people. I don't know why I like it, I think it's because I can imagine these two setting up home together and what wonderful domestic bliss awaits them. In the end I bought them a slow cooker; I know they're good because I've got one at home myself. She doesn't like me calling her that though, do you love?