Humorous closing lines

Right, I better wind this up. It’s five minutes until the disco starts and I’ll probably need most of that for applause.

Now as this speech draws to a close, I was going to remark that all good things come to an end, but clearly that's not the case with Jacqui and Ryan. Theirs is a union that will last forever. No, seriously, they'll still be fawning over each other long after the inevitable heat death of the universe.

So that's me just about done. I know some of you are gasping for a pint and a fag, but take note from Robert and Sasha here; good things come to those who wait. Those two took 40-odd years to find each other, so you can wait another two minutes for the open bar.