Best man speech template

Groom's Achievements

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. I'd like to start by saying what a genuine honour it is to be Paul's best man today. I appreciate that I am just one of many close friends that he could have chosen. But let's face it, Paul made the right choice. After all, he looks up at me as the older brother he never had. And that's reciprocated in the way I look down on him as the younger brother I never wanted.

Because I know Paul so well, I'm in a great position to tell you about his many past misdemeanours. I could have trotted out the usual stories, like when he woke up on a football field wearing a red thong and swimming goggles. To be fair, a wedding day will do funny things to a bloke, and anyway, we managed to get him changed in plenty of time for the ceremony.

Rather than harking on about all the questionable things Paul has done, I’ve decided to use this time to talk of his achievements. So those of you waiting impatiently for the disco, I'd say it'll kick off in about thirty seconds.

Paul was always an ambitious young lad. I remember back to school when he was fixated on collecting every single sticker in the Merlin football album, three times over. Paul was one of those guys who would never give up, and I can confirm that as of this time last week, he is finally the proud owner of said sticker collection. That's not the only childhood dream of Paul's that has come true. He also had designs of becoming a great architect, and let me tell you, that shed he put up last summer survived a good three months before collapsing in what everyone later agreed was a particularly strong five-mile-an-hour gust.

Paul's greatest achievement is, without a doubt, marrying Linda. When Linda said 'I do' today, the vicar asked if she wanted a second attempt at answering the question. And Paul, don't think we didn't notice that little fist bump you did when Linda actually turned up. My friend, you must be the luckiest man alive. Linda, I can only assume Paul's got a heck of a lot of Post Office shares.

Paul’s second greatest achievement also occurred today, and that was keeping his tie on throughout the ceremony. To be fair, he always wears a tie at the office, but usually as a bandanna. Not only did Paul keep his tie on, he finally saw common sense and decided against wearing the Homer Simpson one. Although Linda, I had the dubious honour of helping him dress today, and I'm afraid to say the Batman boxers are firmly on.

I'll be honest with you, it was somewhat challenging coming up with a third achievement. So, I thought of getting some visual help by asking his father Raymond if he had any cute pictures of Paul when he young. I got a puzzled look and this confused reply; ‘Pictures yes, cute no!’ But he did tell me that as a child, Paul is fondly remembered for always asking question after question. And this morning, a little of that child returned to him, as when I passed the bathroom door I overheard him saying, 'Why me, Lord? Why me?'

In the end however, I realized what Paul's third achievement was: Choosing me as his best man!

On behalf of the bridesmaids and myself, I would like to thank Linda and Paul for giving us the opportunity to be involved in their special day. I know they have both put a tremendous amount of effort into the planning of this wedding, and can only hope that, apart from this speech, everything has exceeded their expectations.

Ladies and gentlemen, it now gives me immense pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Paul and Linda, or as they shall henceforth be known, Mr and Mrs Wilson. We wish them well for the future and hope they enjoy a long and happy life together!