Humorous options

Let me introduce myself, I'm Jason. Paul actually asked me to be his best man about 6 months ago when we were in the pub. But I never received a formal invitation to the wedding, so I just hope I haven’t eaten a meal meant for someone else. In fact, I’m sure it was such a simple oversight - or more likely, Paul trying to save the cost of a stamp.

If you didn't know already, my name is Jason and I'm the best man. What have I done to be blessed with such an honour? Who’s dropped out at the last minute? Had all his other friends left the country? Could I turn the job down and still get an invite to eat and drink at Paul’s expense? I didn’t want to risk it, so let’s get on with it.