Entertaining version of bride & groom's romance

When Paul first laid eyes on Linda, she was simmering like a corked volcano. That’s right, she’d just been talking to me.

What some of you may not know is that it was in fact I who first clasped eyes on Rachel. But I gave Pete dibs in exchange for writing off that fiver I owed him. Who knows how this story would've played out if I hadn't have had kebab lust the night before.

Graham and Lisa were introduced by a mutual friend. I say friend, she'd have called herself Graham's girlfriend, and I can't tell you what she'd call these two if she were here today.