Best Man

Speech Templates

Concerned that your best man speech is too sporadic? It often helps to set a theme that runs through the whole thing. Not only does this give you a thread to hold onto, it means you can build jokes up over the course of the speech. We've created 27 best man speech templates to help you tie material together in a fun and entertaining way. Even if you don't use the whole template, these will give you ideas for topics. Whether you have a lot to say about the newlyweds or not much at all, you'll find a template that gives your speech a structure and theme. If you're seeking guidance on how to arrange your ideas in a logical sequence, see our Speech formats.

Relentless Dig in Disguise

Bury the Groom in a barrage of one-liners with this machine gun approach to Best Man speeches.

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I have stood side-by-side with Paul for many years now, through many highs and the odd low. In all that time, I’ve never seen anything but a man of integrity, honour and all-round excellent character. That's why, instead of giving him a roasting on this most special of day, I’d like you to join me in celebrating some of his finer characteristics and moments.

Best Man Brother

Deep down, everyone knows you love him (but, having known him for so long, you will have a much better idea of just how far you can go). Wisecracks about the Groom’s early years, schooling and personality are to be expected from a sibling. Here, a famous brother is in action!

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Of the two of us, Will has always been the goodie-goodie. After excelling at school, he made it into a top university, and later aced his RAF pilot’s test. Not bad for a boy who grew up in state accommodation and technically still lives on benefits.

Groom's Achievements

Remember Mark Antony's speech at Caesar's funeral? This is the direct opposite. The Best Man protests that he's not here to dig dirt on the Groom, then pulls out a shovel and digs like a mole on crack.

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I could trot out the usual embarrassing stories, such as when Paul woke up in a football field wearing nothing but a red thong, or when he cried at an episode of Charlie and Lola, or when he wet himself in the back of a car... but as you can tell, it's been an eventful morning for the groom, and I'm sure he now wants to put all these things behind him.

Best Man's Check List

It's not just their big day, you know; it's yours too! A checklist of the Best Man's many wedding-day responsibilities provides plenty of opportunity to tease the Groom.

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After this speech, there still remains one final duty that Linda reminded me about a little earlier. I’m supposed to dance with the bride after the groom, her father, and her father-in-law. Linda, that would be my pleasure, but I’m not sure how comfortable I’d feel dancing with all those men.

Investigating Groom's Past

Schooldays and early life are vividly remembered in a touching portrait of the Groom as a young idiot. OK, so none of it actually happened, but there are greater truths revealed, right?

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Paul, you leave here today having gained a wife that is warm, loving and caring, a wife whose outer beauty is surpassed only by her amazing inner radiance. Linda, you on the other hand, leave today with, well, a gorgeous dress and a lovely, lovely bouquet.

Instructions from the Bride

There's so much for the Best Man to remember! Fortunately, in this speech, the blushing Bride has provided a list of dos and don'ts for the big day... For the Best Man, it's a reminder of the perils of his role. For the Groom, a warning that now that he's married, someone else is in charge!

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I'm sure a number of the guys here today have been best man at a wedding before. But I wonder how many of you ever received written guidelines from the bride-to-be? Looks like you’ve already messed up on the first one Paul… “I don’t want that insolent friend of yours ruining our special day…”

Wedding Guests

For the jet-setting or geographically mobile Groom with an international wedding crowd, a speech that takes those admirable global networking skills, and uses them as a comedy cosh to beat him into submission.

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Weddings don’t just happen, you know. A lot of work goes into making them work. Bringing all of those people, suppliers, venues and decorations together is no mean feat. So forgive me all this has made me forget some small, insignificant detail. Now, could the groom please stand up and identify himself. I've forgotten which one you are.

Best Man's Duties

The traditional duties of a Best Man are explored, providing a springboard for playful Groom-bashing and mild character assassination.

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Having accepted the role of best man I thought I’d better familiarize myself with the duties involved. I was astonished to learn, that by tradition, I am supposed to bring a cheque book or credit card to settle any payments the bridegroom may have forgotten. So, a week ago, I made a list of all the obvious wedding expenses; venue, flowers, chauffeur, handcuffs etc and checked whether or not they’d been paid. Everything seemed in order. But what if I’d missed something? I’m not the sort of person who can spot an opportunity to spend money in a way not obvious or rational. So I got my wife to double check it!

Aspirations for Married Life

So you're married to the woman of your dreams! All that remains is to sit back and bask in the warm glow of togetherness for the next forty years, right? Wrong! Here, the Best Man lets the Groom know what he's let himself in for.

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Ladies and gentlemen, it's an honour and a pleasure to be Paul's best man. Whether he feels the same way by the time I'm through with this speech is another thing. Personally, I've got a feeling this thing is going to go viral when I post it up online.

Groom's Diary

The Groom's diary entries provide a very personal insight into the blossoming of his relationship with his new Bride. What a tender and emotional soul... What a flaming sissy!

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Paul, it's heartwarming to know that you kept a secret diary at the time you were first courting Linda. And it must be heartbreaking for you that it wasn't hidden well enough...

Advice for the Groom

A break from the Groom-bashing for Best Men who's buddy is either too well behaved or much bigger than them. In this speech, the illusive secrets of a happy marriage are revealed. Your audience might want to take notes.

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What a beautiful ceremony that was earlier. I particularly enjoyed the contemporary twist where Paul said “I do”, and Linda replied “You'd better”.

Groom's Passions

Who is the Groom? What are his passions? What makes his eyes light up and his heart beat faster... and are you sure you really want to know?

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Having been to a few weddings now, I find it curious that all the best man speeches I've heard, without exception, blatantly and disgracefully set out to demolish the character of the groom. Still, who am I to start bucking the trend...

Admiration for the Groom

It goes without saying that as Best Man, you must have deep personal admiration for the Groom, so why not share it with the world on his wedding day? I'll tell you why not; because it's boring! It's much funnier to knock his top hat off and leg it out of the church. This speech sits somewhere between those two extremes.

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It's rather baffling that I've been given the title of 'best man'. If I'm the best man, why is Linda marrying Paul? I'm just happy saying that I am a pretty good man, because today Paul is the best man. And now I'm going to tell you why...

Preparing the Speech

For the post-modern Best Man, a deconstructionist speech about the process of writing the speech! This one would be 'art' if there weren't so many cheeky digs at the Groom hiding on every line!

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Watching the two families of the bride and groom is a fascinating experience. Linda, it's clear where you get your beauty, grace and sharp sense of humour from. Paul, seriously, who actually raised you?

Mr Men

The delightfully innocent world of children's picture books is invaded by a marauding Best Man, who quickly puts the inhabitants of Happyland to the sword and installs a puppet government devoted to taking the mickey out of Groom.

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It is an honour for me to be Paul's best man. He is a class act, a great friend and lifelong confidant. We were like brothers, although to be honest, the way he bossed me about all the time, it was more like having a sister.

Significant Dates

A useful template than can be adapted to any Bride and Groom, though it gets significantly harder to make this speech work if either of them were born on a leap year.

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Weddings are really family occasions, and the last thing I want to do is cause offence by talking in too much detail about the Groom’s colourful past. I’ve therefore decided to edit out anything that might be considered inappropriate, uncouth and downright sinful. Thank you and goodnight!

Happy Couple's Romance

From the first kiss to the big day, we take a trip down memory lane, reliving the epic romance that brought us to this happy juncture. The truth is the first casualty in this light-hearted look at the happy couple's courting. The second casualty is, of course, the Groom. This is an ideal template for a Best Man who has very little to say about the Groom.

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We've now reached that moment in the speech where I am meant – in good taste, of course – to give the groom the ribbing of a lifetime. It was, however, Linda's wish that I go easy on the groom today, and refer only to his laudable qualities. Linda, I'm going to need your help here...

Goals in Life

OK, so at this point it looks likely that the Groom's never going to be an astronaut. But what of his other ambitions? A light-hearted look at the shifting dreams and aspirations of the Groom, from school days to the present.

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On such an illustrious day as this it seems odd for me to be called best man. Let's face it I have to play second fiddle to Linda and Paul, and their families. Then the bridesmaids and page boys are next in line for compliments. I've been so attention starved this afternoon, I've been pretending to be a waiter for the last two hours.

Groom's Attributes

The best man is instructed not to mention the Groom's shady past and to talk only of his positive attributes - which he does to great comic effect!

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With the groom delivered to the church on time and sober, I think I've so far completed all my duties correctly. And now there’s just one more to go, which is to give a speech and make a complete fool of myself at the same time. Again, I think I’m not doing too badly on that, either.

Wedding Behaviour

As a quirky way of dishing the dirt, the Best Man provides a run down of odd behaviour from the Groom that the wedding guests should be on the look out for.

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I agreed to be Paul’s best man on the condition that it wouldn’t interfere too greatly with my own enjoyment of the wedding day. Unfortunately, he still insisted on turning up.

Singling out a Groom Trait

A speech that finds that one loose thread, then picks away at it until the Groom's self-image unravels all over the reception room floor.

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Paul, it’s been an honour and a privilege to be your best man today, especially since you’ve already returned the same honour to me. But let’s face it, I have even less friends than you.

Why Marry Groom

The Best Man lists the virtues of the Groom in an attempt to explain why the Bride has made a good choice of husband. Not necessarily the easiest job in the world ...

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The main theme of my speech is this: Why marry Paul Wilson? What exactly is so special about him? Well after months of extensive research and investigation I can conclusively say... Linda, can you enlighten us?

Social Networks

Bring the Best Man's speech bang up to date with a rib-tickling Facebook spoof.

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In any other generation, Linda and Paul’s courtship would have been a personal matter, conducted on the back rows of cinemas and night buses. But 21st century lovers leave an online trail. One that we can follow to gain a tender insight into the private lives of this most romantic couple… At this point Paul, I will kindly ask you for your Facebook password. Only joking mate. I already know it.

The Institution of Marriage

Tradition is a wonderful thing; it offers so many opportunities to take the Mickey. For bachelor best men in particular, an offbeat look at the institution of marriage ...

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Marriage is a sacred, age-old institution. In fact, some people think it’s the very backbone of our society. I know the bride does, anyway. Every time in the past I asked her why she and Paul weren’t married yet she told me it was because he was “totally spineless”. Today, Paul you finally become a vertebrate.

Advice for Chocolate Lovers

Forrest Gump's words of wisdom are given a very British spin in this short speech, full of quick fire gags and Christmas cracker groans.

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Ladies and gentlemen, it is – of course – an honour and a privilege to represent Paul as his best man. But while I’m very happy and proud to be here today, I must admit that public speaking makes me feel as clumsy and tongue-tied as Forrest Gump. Which got me thinking … I’m sure you all remember Forrest’s most famous line: Life is like a box of chocolates. Well, it struck me that marriage could be described in similar terms. So here are a few words of wisdom that I hope will steer Linda and Paul well on their long and happy voyage together.

Robin Hood & His Married Men

The Legend of Robin Hood as you've never heard it before; a cautionary tale for young brides.

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Having been given the opportunity to speak, I’d like to address the bride herself with a cautionary tale from English folklore. You may think you’re sitting next to Mr. Right, but time and testosterone do funny things to a bloke. For you, Linda, I present the legend of Robin Hood and His Married Men. Paul mate, it doesn't look like you're sitting comfortably, but I'll begin anyway...

The All-Purpose Groom Roast

Have a dig without having to worry about getting too close to the bone, with this one-size-fits-all Groom roast.

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I have known the Groom for several years. And during this time I've heard him being compared to many great men. I say men... I suppose you'd refer to them as dictators really...