Marriage proposal

Being a staunch traditionalist, Paul did the time-honoured, decent thing when it came to proposing to Linda. He went down on one knee - and then went down on the other. And he asked the Bride's Father if he would contribute towards the wedding cost.

When Paul proposed he presented Linda with a huge glittering engagement ring. ‘Wow! Are they real diamonds?’ Linda asked. 'I sincerely hope so,’ replied Paul. ‘If not, we’ll take it straight back to Asda.’