Recent friend

Unlike many of the best men you’ve probably encountered over the years – who were either old school friends or childhood friends of the groom – Paul and I actually met about six years ago. So not knowing an awful lot about his past, I made enquiries – at his local police station. I thought that would be a good place to start digging for dirt. But they had nothing to say… except that he was the perfect guest whenever he stayed over.

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s very important to me to admit in public that everything vital in life that I’ve learned in the last four years, I’ve learned from Paul. So touched am I by the impression he’s made on me that I think those lessons are too good to keep to ourselves, so today I thought I’d share them with everyone here. Thanks Paul, I know that life is much more enjoyable if you’re prepared to deceive, cheat and lie to get what you want.