Best man jokes for weddings in April

Browse below for timely and topical material in ready-to-use best man speech form. A last minute addition to your script that connects a news story that has only just broken to a wedding day theme will show the audience just how razor sharp, witty and informed you are.

Displaying 17 topical best man speech jokes

  1. For weddings April 1 - May 31

    Spring is a particularly apt time of year for a wedding, because it is the season of rebirth – and I really feel as though (Groom) has been reborn here today. Which is lucky for (Bride), because now she can start his personality from scratch.

  2. For weddings April 1 - May 31

    What a perfect time of the year for a wedding. With such a beautiful bride to distract us, I bet you haven’t noticed the yellows springing fourth in the garden and the bright pinks splattered all over the countryside. But enough about the state (Groom) got himself into last night...

  3. For weddings April 1 - May 31

    At a time of the year when so much of the life around us is being born and renewed, how appropriate it is that we have gathered on this day to witness Paul and Linda begin their new journey as husband and wife. Spring truly is the season of hope and love, and a great symbol of new beginnings...and I could not imagine a better time to plan such a very special event. For the rest of our lives, I don't believe anyone here could ever think of Spring time without having great memories of today and thinking wonderful and loving thoughts about the two of you.

  4. For weddings April 1 - May 31

    I can’t think of a better setting than spring for a wedding. Being surrounded by the new flora and fauna makes this the most fitting time for a couple to begin their own journey together.

  5. For weddings April 1 - May 31

    For most people, Springtime is seen as a time of growth and renewal, a time for new beginnings, and a time for the cycle of life to start once again. For Paul and Linda, it is also the special time they have chosen to begin a brand new phase of their life together by taking the vows to become husband and wife. Our bride and groom are certain to have a great life together, and it is my hope that they will never ever forget the special love that fills each of our hearts on this beautiful and momentous Spring day.

  6. For weddings April 16

    Of course, as this is an Easter wedding, the last 40 days have been Lent... and (Bride) has made sure that (Groom) has carefully adhered to the traditions of fasting, repentance and celibacy. It's not that she's particularly religious – she just wanted him to realise, before they were married, what would happen if he renewed his Stoke City season ticket for next year.

  7. For weddings April 13

    Today's ceremony coincides with the end of Lent, so there's no better excuse to drink too much, eat too much and generally celebrate with wanton gluttony, especially as the Groom's paying!

  8. For weddings April 3

    It was on this day in 2010 that Apple released the very first iPad. This got me thinking that wives are like iPads. To get the most out of them, you have to protect them carefully, handle them with a gentle touch, and if you go for an upgrade, you’re likely to find things worked better the way they were in the first place.

  9. For weddings April 8

    This weekend is the Grand National and like any successful jockey, (Groom) is hoping for a good ride where he successfully navigates the jumps, powers them both to the finish and doesn't get a refusal at the first fence.

  10. For weddings April 8

    (Groom) and (Bride) share their wedding day with the Grand National - and these are genuine horses that ran in today's race. For (Bride), there’s ‘Beau’, ‘You're A GoodUn’ and ‘Supreme Charm’. I was really struggling to find one for (Groom) and then I spotted it: number 16, the 9-1 second favourite, ‘Blowing Wind’. Surprisingly enough, it was just above number 18, ‘Wicked Crack’, but I'll move swiftly on.

  11. For weddings April 1

    Luckily for (Groom) the Bride is a big fan of the Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, so she's perfectly happy getting her entertainment from tiny cox.

  12. For weddings April 1

    There are, of course, plenty of similarities between today's wedding and this afternoon's Oxford and Cambridge boat race, both feature well dressed crowds and high emotions, although, hopefully tonight (Bride) and (Groom) won't have a small man at the end of the bed shouting "STROKE! STROKE! STROKE!".

  13. For weddings April 23

    Ironic that today's wedding is the same weekend as the London Marathon as (Bride) and (Groom)'s courtship was long, often painful and they occasionally needed encouragement as they "hit the wall" but now they've crossed the finish line, everyone is incredibly proud and happy for them. Let's just hope that tomorrow they don't wake up stiff and unable to walk...

  14. For weddings April 15

    It was on this day in 1755, ladies and gentlemen, that Dr Johnson published the first edition of his English dictionary. It’s a book that has been in constant use ever since. Just last night, (Groom) was having a flick through, and was horrified when he found out the meaning of the word ‘matrimony.’

  15. For weddings April 23

    Of course it'll soon be St George's Day and far be it for me to make any inappropriate wisecracks about "George" and "the Dragon" but suffice to say that, like George, (Groom) is looking forward to putting his "lance" to good effect during the honeymoon.

  16. For weddings April 30

    On this day back in 1789 George Washington was sworn in as the first President of the United States. Of course, when he was elected he was in charge for 4 years, whereas (Groom) marrying (Bride) means that she'll be in charge for the rest of his life!

  17. For weddings April 30

    As a big football fan, I see that (Groom) has deliberately organised his wedding for the end of the season, although, of course, being an Arsenal supporter, his season was over by the end of January.